Monday, July 25, 2011

Dinner Out With Kids

Stream of consciousness writing. Not sure how else to tell this story!

Friend calls. Want to go to dinner? Sure. Baby falls asleep on the way there. Perfect. At least free hands for the first few minutes of dinner. Arrive. Friend + 2 year old. Me + 3 year old, and sleeping 6 month old. Stand at the counter to order. 2 year old running like a madman around the restaurant. 3 year old staking out the "perfect" table. Which is smack against a wall with no room to maneuver. 

3 year old "I need chicken, french fries, and ketchup!" We are at Moe's. That's a negative. Order. 3 year old launches herself into sleeping sister's carseat. Cue screaming baby. 3 year old- "Baby is awake!!!! Yay!!" 3 year old lays on top of sister who is even more mad now. Finish ordering. Pay. Tray, carseat with giant infant, wiggling. Change, wallet, diaper bag. Drink. Salsa. Not enough hands. Meanwhile, friend dealing with still running 2 year old.

Sit down. High chairs. Arrange kids food. Get up 5 times to get things we forgot. Baby fussing already. Wants a boob. Or a taco. Something. Not to be sitting in her carseat for sure. Kids shovel cheese quesadillas in. Moms attempt to eat before kids lose it. Once they are done eating, you know, the world follows. "I'm done!" 3 year old screams. "Let's go outside!!!!!" Runs out the door. Grab infant, run after 3 year old. Serious face to face talking to while friend tries not to laugh at my serious mom voice. "You could have been run over by a car. And mommy would be very sad." 3 year old "Let's go outside!!!!!"

Shovel more food in. Holding baby. She is grabbing EVERYTHING on the table. She may have eaten some steak. Or a bean. Not sure. She was too fast. Napkins by the dozens on the floor. 3 year old is trapped in by chairs, purposefully by me. She is not happy about that. "Let's go outside!!!!!!"

Done. Go outside. 94 degrees. 2 and 3 year olds bolt for some bushes. Cool. Moms attempt to finish conversation we started 30 minutes ago. Fail. Kids are being stabbed by thorns from said bushes. Great landscaping plan huh? Baby wants a boob. Here's a bench. 2 year old runs into traffic. 3 year old follows. 95 degrees. Attempt to nurse. Not having any part of it. Flash a boob full on to passerby. Oh well. 2 year old returning to thorn bushes, and then into traffic.

Let's go. All of us. Bye, it's been fun. Let's do it again..... when we can pawn the kids off on the men, and go alone. And drink. A lot.

This is my life now :)


  1. HA! And THIS is why I dont go out anymore!

  2. LOL! I guess that's one thing to be said about bottle feeding - no flashing! Unless, of course, baby grabs my shirt and pulls it down. :)

    Pretty sure I'm happy with our decision to wait just a biiiit longer before trying for baby #2.

  3. Hilarious!!! I was cracking up!

  4. I know all about that!!!
    Thanks for linking up at Growing up Gardner!

  5. Yep, been there. At least we can laugh about it...eventually. Found you through Growing up Geeky's blog hop. :)

  6. What a hilarious post. I have a feeling this is in my future... ;)