Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Life These Days With Two Kids

Seriously, it's like this, all.day.long. I love it. But it's exhausting. O is always trying to carry A somewhere. A loves it about 30% of the time, screams the rest of the time. I am always yelling no to O to prevent her from yanking the baby's arm out of socket. She seriously seems to not have a clue that this could actually be painful to her sister. On that note:

We are clashing a lot lately, the 3 year old and I. She is testing her limits so bad, and we are both such emotional people, it is not always pretty. I never thought I would be that mom. The one that yells at her kid. But I have done it a few times lately. And every time I open my mouth, I know good and well that it doesn't work. But I am SOOOOO frustrated at the sheer disobedience. She is the kid that I tell no once, nicely, in my really sweet mommy voice, then she will look at me with this "hahahaha" look in her eyes and do it again. On purpose. Again, and again. Time out is my method of choice, but she isn't seeming to get it lately. Afterwards, I will ask her why she went to time out, and she will (crying) say "because I don't like time out! I don't want to go to time out, and you say go to time out Olivia." Um, no, it's because you yanked a toy out of your sister's hand for the 4574th time today, thus making her cry, and then laughing at her, and I couldn't take it anymore.

She has never been a tantrum kid, until the last few days. All the sudden, she is the kicking, screaming, being hauled out of a store by me kid. I cannot even fathom that she would do this if she Daddy was with us. She has never acted like this while he was around. Something is different about being with me. What is it? Sister is 8 months old. This behavior from big sis is new. I am sure it is related to little sis, but I can't imagine it would have come on this fast. What has changed? Someone help!

Does anyone have any good toddler discipline ideas? I have no clue what to do with her right now.


  1. I think it's a stage they go through because Jonas does the exact same thing...he thinks it's funny to defy me and when I punish him he acts like it's a game...time out is funny, standing in the corner is funny...it's really frustrating. I wish I had some super nanny advice for you but the only thing I've found is that keeping very calm and not getting upset helps a lot. If I lose my temper then it just backfires on me and makes things worse...seems to just feed the fire...I hope she starts being a good girl soon!

  2. It is a phase I am sure. I tell my big kids all the time to ignore Cash when he is ugly to them b/c he too is going through a phase. They ask me all the time "Mom, How long is this phase going to lastttt?". He is almost 3 and has discovered the joy in telling me "No" and being defiant...something I have never seen in him before. Because I have two older ones, I KNOW it will be over before too long. My advice is to just hang in there and be consistent with the discipline (time out or whatever you choose). And I agree with Valerie, stay calm. If I allow myself to get angry and raise my voice, it makes things worse.

    Also, it is totally normal for them to have different behavior with different parents. Working in a school, babysitting and nannying for yrs prior to being a Mom, I saw this ALL the time. My kids have done it as well. It probably won't always be this way. Just make sure Matt backs you up when she is acting up for you. When he gets home maybe he could talk to her about how she misbehaved or was rough with Ava. You don't need to always be the bad guy. I think it is a HUGE help when B lets the kids know that even though he wasn't here for the (insert issue...tantrum, hurting sibling, disobeying Mom...) that it is unacceptable and he stands behind me in the punishment I choose or whatever.

  3. Hi, I found you from myhappycasa, and I just wanted to throw my two cents in...take it or leave it. My oldest was the same way when baby #2 came. It's an attention thing. It was/is for us anyway. Baby's take so much time and need so much. They are always being held, always being fussed over, always needing a clean diaper, always eatting, etc. The older one starts to feel left out and then acts up. Spend some naptimes or times when the baby is happy on the floor playing tea time or whatever, start doing some "just for the two of us" things like a craft during naptime, or while the baby is in the high chair with some cheerios, and point out to your oldest the things that she can do that the baby can't and get her involved, and I think her attitude toward you will improve. Good luck!