Sunday, March 20, 2011

Living in the now?

Yes, that is a question mark. Because I am horrible at it. And I have to MAKE myself do it, even when it comes to the girls. It kind of makes me feel like a shitty mom sometimes. For example:

This is this morning. Ava was sleeping for about 20 minutes total in the swing, and I was excited to get Olivia out from in front of the tv, and doing something. So we got out the Playdoh. "Mommy, you sit with me, do Playdoh" she says. Got my tea, and settled in... for like, 3 minutes. Then I started looking at the table... pile 1: book fair books that I need to order for Easter. Pile 2: garden plans, which made me start thinking about the garden. Pile 3: a bowl that needs to go back to a friend. Pile 4: Olivia's crafty stuff. Pile 5: pieces to the new deck box that Matt is building. And I couldn't take it. I needed that table cleaned off. Bad.

So I flit back and forth cutting out playdoh shapes, and putting things where they belong, or at least off of the table and out of my sight. Which leads me to the guest room, aka, the "put all your random crap here room", and then I start wanting to clean that out.

"Mommy, come heeeerrrreeee. Mommmmeeeee!"

Then I took this picture. And sat down with my kid. And stopped cleaning. Then Ava woke up. And Playdoh time ended because you know she didn't really want to play by herself for the 80th time this week.

What is it about me moms that make us think we need to do everything? Or is it just me? Why can I not take advantage of what would likely be 15 minutes of one on one with Olivia? My mind is never still, there is always something that I want/need to do. Does any of that crap on the table matter? No.

So this week I will try really hard. There are things that have to be done, but the time with each girl one on one is so limited these days. I have to take it when I get it. I am not sure when that leaves time to do the other things, like feed people, and attempting to not end up on Hoarders, but there has to be a way.

If you know how, please, share the knowledge :)


  1. I'm with you girl! But I just have my son (and dog) but I don't know why I can't just spend time with DS and enjoy it instead of thinking of everything that needs done in the house! Good luck!

  2. Ugh.... I have so much trouble with this myself. I'm constantly thinking of what I need to get done, what I need to organize, what is a disaster zone, etc. It's really hard to just sit and play and I just have one!

    I can come over this week and take care of #3 in the picture ;) If the weather is nice I can sit outside with Olivia and Lucas and they can play?

  3. Yeah. I don't know. But the truth is that part of taking care of your kids is also providing them a clean place to live. But you can also ignore your kids all day while you clean. Somewhere there has to be balance. This is how I see it. You have to have a clean patch for a baby to roll around whether it in the living room or bedroom, a clean surface to prepare food, and a toilet you aren't afraid to sit on. That should be enough, right? It never feels like enough. Oh well. I try to remember that people who have children and perfect homes most likely spend a lot of time ignoring their children or they have hired help. Or else they have neat freak husbands who actually help them clean vs what I have. Pig pen... mess just follows him around.

    That's another reason I like to leave the house and take my kids places. No pressure to clean. I can just be with my kids.

  4. oh.. Sometimes when I really feel like I need to get stuff done around the house, I'll spend time playing with the kids. Then, when it seems they have had plenty of attention and are happily playing alone I'll set a timer for 15 minutes, go to a room, and do as much as you can in that time. Then be done. If you think you have another 15 minutes, then do it again. If not, maybe you can find another 15 minutes later in the day.

    Maybe for playgroups, we could start letting the host of the playgroup clean the areas of their house we aren't occupying while we entertain the kids. :)

    I have too much to say about this topic. One more thing and then I'll shut up. I try to remind myself what I want my kids to remember of me. That I was always cleaning or that I spent time with them?

  5. I know how you feel. What has helped me is thinking...

    There's a time to be the mother of the house and time to be your daughter's friend. There's a time to be a discipliner and a time to be a comforter. There's a time for everything. Only you can figure out what times are what. :)

  6. Finding the balance is so tough. I hope you have a nice week and figure it out. I don't think I ever will!